College-Bound: Talking With New Friends About Food Allergies
I’ve grown up my whole life with food allergies, so they’ve just become an unspoken part of who I am. My childhood friends knew I had food allergies from the get-go, so it was something everyone in my circle was familiar with. However, when I went off to college, I realized quickly none of my new friends knew about my food allergies and the dangerous situations that could materialize if I didn’t navigate things properly.
Once I arrived on campus, I found myself surrounded by new people, new foods, and new places to eat, which was a little overwhelming at first! My allergies are relatively manageable—reactions can usually be defused before reaching anaphylaxis—however, there are always the outlier scenarios. There have certainly been a few times when the reaction escalated, and in those situations, it’s helpful and comforting when friends know about my food allergies and how to help.
But how do I tell these new friends? In my first week of school, I met a group of girls, and we were just learning about each other. In some of our first conversations, I was worried about dropping the food allergy “bomb” on them, risking being known as “the food allergy girl.”
In the end, I was able to tell these new friends without creating an awkward situation. Now I can say with confidence that I’m known for more than just being the girl with food allergies. 😉 The conversation always felt awkward in my head, but in reality, it was painless and quick. And quite the relief, because now I know they have my back and know what to do if I ever need help!
Here are my top tips for how to effectively discuss food allergies with new friends:
Bring it up at meals. Everyone eats, but in college, everyone eats together. There’s no better time than while sitting at the table, either ordering food or eating at a dining hall, to ensure your friends know what you can’t eat. This can happen organically too. If you’re at a restaurant, you’ll inevitably tell the waiter about your allergies, and then your friends will know too!
Mention it around food. If someone brings up their favorite food and it happens to be something you can’t eat, it’s a great opportunity to work your allergy into the conversation.
Check the ingredients. Reading an ingredient label is second nature to anyone with food allergies. However, it’s probably not second nature to your non-food allergic friends. Explain to them what you’re doing and why you need to do it. This is especially helpful if you live with friends, so they can help grocery shop for foods you can eat.
Relate it to your epinephrine. If you have a severe food allergy, chances are you carry epinephrine. Most people know what epinephrine is, and if they notice you’re carrying it, it’s a chance to explain exactly what you’re allergic to—and how to use epinephrine in case of an emergency!
Tell your roommate right away. When you meet your college roommate(s), one of the first things you should do is tell them you have food allergies. This may seem intimidating, but you are about to live together for at least a year. They probably have important life info to share too, and the conversation about food allergies may open the door to discuss any issues you should be aware of, taking the pressure off.
While none of these tips are foolproof, I’ve found them to be effective. In my experience, most people appreciate it when I tell them I have food allergies. So many people have them that by the time you get to college, nearly everyone either has food allergies or knows someone who does! They may even have some tips for you on how to manage food allergies—I learned a lot from one of my closest friends at college, who is also allergic to nuts.
— Emma Hochberg
Emma is a sophomore at Dartmouth College studying Neuroscience and Economics. She’s had allergies to tree nuts since birth, and was allergic to peanuts and sesame until age 10. Emma hopes to make managing food allergies easier for others and reduce the awkwardness of dealing with food allergies in daily life.